Passion Play
by heartwearsthin
Summary: "She's changed"
1. Chapter 1

**I feel like a bit of a poser but the truth is I've read a ton of different Edward and Bella fan fiction - love tons of stories and thought it was time I finally posted something of my own! **

**I hope you like it and sorry for the dark and dreary beginning, I promise there is a light at the end of this tunnel : D**

***Also a little warning for all of you who might be a little touchy on the subject of teen pregnancy/ abortion - though it is not a fixed subject in my story I do and will touch on it in certain chapters. **

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What was once just a brief distraction for him; a shameless pursuit just to carve out a notch on his bed post – turned my life upside down. I had always been needlessly shy about the way I looked, I knew so little about myself and was unbelievably uncomfortable in my own skin. So naturally when the most popular boy in my year - Edward Cullen, the much admired by all and hockey prodigy; decided to pick me there's no sugar coating it, that I was complete putty in his hands.

Looking back now we only had a few real moments together. A walk home from school, a movie where he told me afterwards he'd liked the way I laughed, a school dance where he stood up with no one else but me and then of course the 'life changing' moment.

I got the distinct impression that we were both inexperienced– and my then soft heart melted knowing we'd be each other's first. I mean, it was the sort of shit romance was made of, two teens in the back of a Dodge Ram – what could be more romantic?

And while later that night I stayed up reliving every one of our meaningless moments imaging then that they mattered I couldn't have prepared myself for Monday morning - the love sick fifteen year old I was already had something resembling a future planned out after all.

But at last, the sad end to my brief relationship with Edward Cullen was simple in the beginning, he just pretended I didn't exist and I simply let him.

Of course it wasn't until a full month later, sitting on the yellowy linoleum floor of my dad's bathroom I learnt life didn't intend to make it simple. I was officially that girl who got pregnant at fifteen and my choice was either keep it, live with the humiliation of everyone's judgement as well as becoming responsible for someone when I couldn't even look after myself.

or

The ugly choice of getting rid of the problem completely

Adoption was never a possibility for me. I couldn't stand the idea of not seeing the child knowing it existed. I get where I might sound selfish but I was fifteen and at the end of the day how many fifteen year olds do you know who aren't incredibly selfish? I had good grades, I had universities picked out and place's I dreamed of seeing and so I made the ugly choice.

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**Just a brief set up to get out of the way, more to come! xxxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Next update! Thank you for those of you that have commented already - best motivation. I have more ready but I'll see how you guys take this one : )**

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I was nervous about seeing my dad, our relationship had been tested. I knew it was honesty Charlie deserved but I would never give it to him. Selfishly I don't think I could bear it. When I left two years ago I hurt him - but not nearly as much as it would hurt him knowing why.

Charlie was awkward with affection, and my homecoming would likely be no exception.

"Glad your back Bells" He grumbled in his usual way, I wondered at how glad he could be.

Patting my shoulder and then dutifully bringing it in for a hug, he smiled – a small, awkward and stern gesture but yet it was enough to erase nearly every fear I had about coming back to Forks.

In perfect time Alice bounced happily around us humming loudly and prancing about, ending our little moment before it lasted too long. She looked perfectly mischievous with a ridiculous grin plastered across her face. For the most part she looked the same, no taller than when I left but she did look distinctly older. She'd always been beautiful but the two years had treated her kindly and only enhanced the fact.

"Prepare yourself; I've planned a night to remember – happy homecoming" she whispered while swaying past my ear playfully, I took a quick peak over at Charlie. He was nearly out the door already with one of my bags in hand. I swear clever Alice has a sixth sense about parents being just out of ear shot.

Alice was the only other girl I'd ever met that came with no judgement- freely did whatever she liked and allowed for mistakes, often making them for herself. She was the sort of person that if I wasn't her best friend I would probably be pitifully jealous of her.

After Charlie dropped us of at home he left for his night shift, giving my shoulder a slight squeeze on the way out reaffirming that all is well between us.

"Right Jasper will be here in forty five minutes so what'll it be?" Alice interrupts; I swivel round' to find her clinging two glasses together to a beat I'm sure she hears perfectly well in her head. "I've got hot 100, which we know from Sasquatch fest isn't necessarily a great idea to start with… or end with or at all with OR I've got Port? from the parents cupboard." She half sings,

"I've got a better idea"

"This tastes like shit Bells! Or fire… definitely fire" She choked out after her first proper swig.

"Trust me after a few more it won't even matter what it tastes like" I laughed grabbing the bottle to take my turn, Jose Cuervo – old friend.

While she did my make-up Alice filled me in on some of the local gossip, it seemed Fork's hadn't changed at all. The people lived, breathed hockey and the Cullen boys were still at the centre of it. Besides my mom, Alice was the only other person who knew the truth about why I left and so she was always careful when she talked about him.

"Before we go, I should warn you he'll probably be there tonight." She said cautiously while effortlessly smudging a bit of brown smoky eye shadow across my eye lid, dramatically upgrading my look –

I sort of figured he would be - the last big party of the summer always brought everyone out. I did worry how I would react when I saw him again; ideally I would come off callous and cool but what if I came off like I was trying too hard? The sad truth was he still felt fresh to me and despite having my fair share of other's in between. It wasn't like I slept around but I wasn't some virgin mary either – I liked sex. I wasn't careless or unsafe and I wasn't scared of it, all things considered I'm proud of the fact.

"I do care, but I don't want to care. He's a dick and I think I'll just focus on that." I chuckled dismissively but Alice wasn't going to let it go so easily. She eyed me suspiciously- what the hell she'll eventually get it from me- might as well get it over with, " I really do think he's a dick, but I think…I think he was my first love. It was just so innocent in the beginning you know? For me at least and I can't deny that. It might sound twisted but I'm glad it happened, I like the person I am now more than who I was."

"Woah, listen to you…I like this new Ms. Positive attitude"

"I know … wise beyond my years. But I still hate the fucker" I sighed, causing Alice to burst out into a fit of giggles. "Right- shut up, more drinking for you" I ordered, she mock saluted before following the order with a hearty swig that I could tell she instantly regretted,

"IT'S FIRE" She cried dramatically.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry it's been so long! The family I work for decided last minute to visit the grandparents for half term so I was dragged along BUT I'm back now and ready to get this thing moving! Hope you like the little update, just typing the rest out tonight and will be up tomorrow : ) **

****The story picks up again later in the evening at Fork's last party before the school year starts**

**Let me know what you think! & thank you so much for reading!**

I felt fine, I felt determined even if it was only because I was a little dizzy with tequila. Jasper held both of our hands through the rowdy crowd and people just moved for him. Maybe it was the leather jacket or the chance occasion he got caught smoking weed, either way my friend Jasper Whitlock had in my absence turned into a bona fide bad boy.

He hadn't always been so beautiful- but he had always been a bit of a mystery. He turned up in Forks – the way wild animals sometimes wandered down from the mountains, he unnerved people. He moved in with his uncle Waylon who was a bit of drunk and that was it, he was here to stay. For some reason right away people assumed the worst of him – except for Alice. Who in her infinite wisdom decided that Jasper was the boy for her,

Luckily from the moment he saw her he decided the very same.

Jasper led us straight to Tyler's van, the great box of a vehicle. He had me in a bear hug before I could even properly pick him out of the crowd.

"Missed you too-"

"Fork's just isn't the same without your face lightening it up, you got hotter by the way" Tyler declared in way of greeting. I had almost forgotten the boy's world famous compliments – if at first he'll be lovely and eloquent you can guarantee he'll end it blunt and graceless. I laughed and shoved him off, stepping aside to hug everyone else. The same people as always had been – Angela, Eric, Tyler, Alice and Jasper

…

"Where's Mike and Jessica" I mumbled to Alice while Angela was distracted by Tyler, Eric and Jasper shot gunning.

"Mike made the hockey team" she explained "and Jessica is queen rink rat now" she motioned over to where Jessica stood now.

I hadn't noticed her yet.. just a few feet from us, she hadn't changed all that much. Same sandy blonde hair flicking it or twisting it through her fingers every five seconds – same laugh, she was doing it now that same high pitch cackle while playfully elbowing him.

_Him._

He didn't look at all as villainous as I had hoped, it would have made it easier to hate him but he looked…. _stop it, look away_.

His eyes, bleary and dark - a purple-blue bruise shadowed his left cheek making his eyes more startling. He was perfectly unkempt and disheveled. The appearance of him should have been the most distressing for me but it wasn't, it was that he had already been looking at me. His eyes already gnawing into mine before I fully realised it was him.

"Bells you want a drink" Jasper prodded and like that I was free, Jasper saw the exchange but didn't inquire. He knew a little about Edward and I and definitely enough not to ask.

"Please."


End file.
